One of the things I love most about being a part of the Halloween community on the Internet is everyone is welcome.
Love bloody horror movies? There’s a space for you. Prefer things spooky and cute (like me!)? There’s a space for you. Spend half your year building your yard haunt? There’s a space for you.
No matter what version of Halloween is yours, you can find a group of likeminded friends online – which is unlike any space on the Internet I’ve ever hung out before. (And I’ve been doing that for 20+ years.)
Why? It’s a secret I’ll let you in on: Halloween is the misfits holiday. The one day a year when those of us who never felt like we fit in finally belong. And while we all have our own stories of how we got here, I’d be willing to bet at some point we were bullied for being different.
I was. Junior high was rough. Aside from it being an awkward age in general, the popular girls made me their target about halfway through seventh grade, and I was on the receiving end of their nasty comments in the hall between classes, their crank calls during slumber parties, their tricks at school dances. It sucked, and I would never want that to happen to someone else because I know how awful it was for me.
So when I ran across Don’t Be A Monster in 2016 via the Halloween community, I immediately fell in love with them. Don’t Be A Monster, or DBAM for short, is a nonprofit that delivers bullying prevention assemblies to schools all over the U.S. during October.
Get to know them in today’s Q&A with Program Coordinator Adleigh O’Neill!
Q&A with Don’t Be A Monster

Who is Don’t Be A Monster?
Adleigh: Don’t Be A Monster is a nationally recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that works alongside haunted attractions in the U.S. We are the largest nonprofit organization in the haunt community. We offer free, unique and entertaining bullying prevention assemblies for students in 4th-10th grade. October is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, so our assemblies are delivered in the “Halloween Season” (late September through early November). Our mascot, Frank, joins us at every presentation to remind kids to always be kind. Our mission is to educate and empower youth to stand up for themselves and their peers by building a community where everyone is included, no matter their differences.

How did you get started working for DBAM?
Adleigh: I started working for Don’t Be A Monster in 2017 when I was finishing school in Denver. Even though I have moved around a bunch since then, I have always found a way to continue working for this organization because I really believe in our mission. I love knowing that my work has a part in making communities of people (both the kids we present to and the haunt community we work with) with kindness at the heart. I think that teaching kids about self-care, kindness, and mental health when they are young will lead them to being kind adults! All of the Halloween shenanigans are just the icing on the cake.
How does your organization fill the gap in addressing bullying in schools?
Adleigh: A big way we address the gap on bullying prevention in schools is by providing our assemblies 100% free of costs to the schools. We have always felt it was very important to make our program accessible to all by eliminating the cost-barrier. If our program wasn’t free, many of the schools we visit may not otherwise be able to afford a bullying prevention program at all, so they might skip the lesson altogether. It’s really important that students in all schools, in all communities, hear the importance of building their community with kindness and respect.

DBAM partners with haunted attractions all over the country, which people might not know. Tell us a little bit about how these partnerships work.
Adleigh: Don’t Be A Monster partners are the backbone of our organization. Because the haunt industry is made up of such unique and eccentric people, many of us share the experience of dealing with bullying one way or another. So lots of our partners turn that negative experience into a positive by partnering with us. They feel strongly about our mission and choose to give back by bringing our program into their community.
Our partners designate a team from their haunt to go into schools and present the Don’t Be A Monster presentation. With them is our mascot Frank, who teaches kids to celebrate our differences. We currently have 22 partners and are growing every year! We are so grateful to our partners and presentation teams who make the magic happen, year after year.
What is the most important need that DBAM addresses in its assemblies?
Adleigh: That’s such a hard question! Everything we talk about is really important. We try our best every year to cram as much useful information into our quick 1 hour assemblies while still making it a fun experience for the kiddos.
I think one of the most important lessons in our assembly is how to identify the difference between behaviors that are rude, mean, and bullying. It’s useful because so many kids don’t really understand what bullying behavior is, especially when movies show it as pushing someone down to steal their lunch money. But what if someone keeps writing nasty comments on my Instagram? Or what if my friend is always making jokes that hurt my feelings? Is that bullying?
Even as an adult I had not realized that being mean/rude is not the same and it’s a really useful way to identify someone’s intentions and behaviors and understanding your relationship with that person. I think this piece of our presentation helps the kids really start thinking about the actions of their peers, but also how they themselves treat others. We focus a lot on teaching kids that the best way to address bullying is not only by reporting more but by building a community of kindness. Don’t be a bystander when you see someone being rude, being mean or bullying; be an Upstander!

Tell us a bit about Frank, the DBAM mascot! What’s his story and how did he come to be part of the presentations?
Adleigh: Frank is our incredible mascot who goes to visit the kids at every DBAM presentation. He is a gentle giant, who represents our mission: to educate and empower youth to stand up for themselves and their peers by building a community where everyone is included, no matter their differences. He may look different than you, or be the “weird”, quiet kid in class, or not always fit in like everybody else, but his differences are what make him special. We have to learn to not only respect but CELEBRATE all of the little things that make us unique. Frank is not a monster!
For a better understanding of Frank’s story, you can watch our video: Meet Frank.
For readers who work in schools and want DBAM to visit, how can they make that happen?
Adleigh: Normally, any teacher, school counselor, or principal can simply head over to our booking website and schedule a presentation in their market on the calendar! However, COVID-19 has really made for a bizarre year over here at DBAM! But that’s not stopping us. We are coming up with new ways to make sure our message of kindness reaches kids in this new world. We’re developing a digital presentation that schools will be able to utilize this year if social-distancing mandates require it. We will also be providing ongoing monthly curriculum that teachers will be able to use with their students in-person or remotely. These mini-lessons will allow teachers to continue the work of teaching students how to be an Upstander and promote inclusivity and kindness. All of this will be announced and the new booking process will be updated very soon.

And finally, for the Halloween lovers who just fell in love with what DBAM does, what is the easiest way for them to get involved?
Adleigh: By and large, the most effective thing you can do to help Don’t Be A Monster is donating! We are only able to provide our bullying prevention assemblies to schools for free because of the generosity of our supporters who help us fund our programming. You can collect donations at your local haunted house, or donate your birthday on Facebook. Throughout the year we run different kinds of fundraisers and events to make donating exciting!
We are currently running a brand new, end-of-summer fundraiser called Frank’s Fun Run which we would LOVE to have everyone participate in! It’s a virtual event where you simply go for a walk, run, bike ride, whatever you want, in your own neighborhood to raise awareness for Don’t Be A Monster and to get excited for Halloween. You can join us anytime the weekend of August 15th and 16th as an individual or as a team (you can even join Miranda’s Spooky Little Halloween Team!). You choose the location and distance you walk and simply keep track of how far you go for your pledged donations. We are always looking for new and fun ways to get people excited about Halloween while also doing something good for themselves and for charity.
Outside of donating and helping us fundraise, we are always appreciative of people who share our message and spread the word about our program. It’s so important for us to reach new audiences if we want to grow our program and have our message of kindness reach more students! You can also pick up some fun DBAM merch in our online store which helps us raise some money as well as spreading awareness- double whammy!

Just for fun, tell us a bit about you as a Halloween lover! What’s your favorite Halloween costume you’ve ever worn and why?
Adleigh: Oh man, my fiance and I have done some really fun ones over the years! I think my favorite has to be when we were Morticia and Gomez Addams. I told Sam I’d get married in these costumes but he just won’t go for it! (Booooo!)
What’s the best candy to get in your trick-or-treat pail?
Adleigh: Reese’s fun size. It’s got the perfect ratio of chocolate to PB and all other sizes are wrong.
Scary or funny jack-o-lantern face?
Adleigh: I’d go with cute. I almost exclusively carve cats.
Best Halloween song?
Adleigh: “Monster Mash”, hands down.
How do you really feel about candy corn?
Adleigh: Edible crayons. But I’d probably eat 10 if you put them in front of me.
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Find Don’t Be A Monster Online
Drop by their website, dontbeamonster.org, for more. You can also find them on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.
Don’t forget DBAM runs on donations! Want an easy way to give back? I’m donating $1 of every Quarantine-O-Ween Zine sold this fall to DBAM.
Be kind,




Kristen
Hey Miranda,
Thank you for this. I’m going to support DBAM here in Iowa because we can always use an extra anti-bullying campaign. When I was in junior high and then going through high school, our student body had a major bullying problem.
Even though schools are very different at the moment (thank you COVID, not) learning about mental health and understanding how your actions affect others are vital lessons that shouldn’t be overlooked. We gotta stick together, especially now.
Miranda | Spooky Little Halloween
I’m so glad their mission resonates with you, Kristen! Thanks for sharing.
Adleigh
Thanks again for interviewing me and featuring DBAM on your blog, Miranda! I had so much fun answering these questions. I’m sorry to hear that you experienced bullying firsthand, but I’m so glad you never let that stop you from sharing your beautiful quirkiness with the world! Thank you for sharing your story and for spreading the word about us.
Miranda | Spooky Little Halloween
Thank YOU for sharing all this! Thrilled to feature DBAM on the blog – it was long overdue.
Ali
I used to sigh to myself when I saw these type of programs,. After all, bullying has been part of the growing up experience for as long as there have been children on the plant. I experienced it, my now grown kids did too. But more closely and you realise its gotten seriously nasty over the past decade or so. Cyber bullying is the worst, partly because its so cowardly. Its easy to be horrible to someone from the comfortable anonymity of a keyboard. And partly because it can be much more relentless than face to face bullying by virtue of the fact you have 24/7 access. . Add to that the fact that its so much harder to discipline children today. Adults have to tread carefully when dealing with anti social behaviour among kids. I hope programs like DBAM one day won’t have to exist.
Miranda | Spooky Little Halloween
I agree, Ali. But until then…I am glad nonprofits like DBAM do exist to put the reminder out in the world to be kind. Thanks for reading and sharing!